It surprises people when they hear from my family what a shy child I was. I had teachers that complained well into high school about the fact I never talked to anyone. I would not share my ideas with the class dispite being the top student most of the time.
I was the target of bullying because I was quite and I was much smaller than my fellow classmates. It didn't bother me like it would most. I always found something to enjoy, some new adventure ajust waiting to be had. I was just very accepting of the situation as it was.
I did wonder what everyone found so offense about me. I remember this one time in high school sitting on the bathroom sink trying to see what they saw. It got frusating as all I saw was me.
I do have a speech problem though. I have trouble sometimes just getting the little words out. It used to make me cry, but as I got older and worked with therapiest, I realized I can control it if I don't become to excited or nervous.
One day at the bus stop, I noticed a young nurse crying. I finally asked if she was okay. My concren for her well being over rode my fears of people. We chated for quiet sometime. It made her feel better. Which made me happy to have asked.
I began to devote my time at the base hospital as a Candy Striper as we were called back then. Fitting I looked like a tiny candy cane in my uniform. I met so many wonder people there patient and staff alike. Met the first guy I ever went out with too.
I realized that sometimes you just have to be who your are and not what people want you to be later in life. I have been much happier as a result. People who have known for years comment. "When were you going to stop listening to the people who bring you down? Now this is who I knew you were all along"
I didn't get that until recently. I had thought it was an odd statment. I have been told my whole life I was not good enough but I held true to myself and proved them all wrong. Once more I proved myself capable.